A Lost Purpose

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Sitting in the middle of one of the dining tables of the restaurant, she stared down at the window sill. Nothing was out of ordinary, the usual hustling of cars could be seen as the noise of crying infants filled the air but what she saw was beyond everything. She saw a film of her past, play right infront of her eyes. She thought about all those times when people made her feel like shit..more like the time when life fucked her over. About the time when she felt as if she could never stand up for herself, as if she couldn’t fight the demons hidden within her. At the time it seemed easy to simply wear a fake smile and go to school everyday, pretending as if everything was fine. As the days passed, things started getting more complicated as she further got herself tangled in the web of her thoughts. She could have talked about this to someone yet she didn’t say a word. But when she looked at the people around her, the honesty in their eyes showed the devotion they felt for her, they loved her with all her flaws. These were the people whom she could rely on, with whom she could be herself. But then why did the opinions of others matter, why did they effect her with such intensity. Maybe because she felt as if the people close to her, started questioning her traits. As if their minds had been clouded by the opinions of the people around them. She felt this sudden urge to clear things out, to set things right but all she did was stare at the frosted glass of the window, wondering at all the things that she could have done, words she could have spoken yet remained silent.

I wonder how would life be if she would have gathered up the courage to speak her mind out.

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